Okay but (aquarium buzz?) that’s actually (blanket matches projector case) (something stuck under thumbnail) not a bad (left the chip bag open) way of (comic books on table out of alignment) (should adjust them) (is that an OCD symptom? (Don’t have that) (Mom used to tell you you did) (“I don’t have OCD mom, I just like things a certain way.”)) demonstrating (demonstrating, defenstrating, shove a man out a window for a defenstration demonstration (should I post that seperately? Kinda funny)) (this is getting long) (I should put some letters in bold so people can actually read what I’m saying) what it’s like (buzz changed frequency) (neighbor made a noise upstairs (what’s he doing?) probably his kid) (Microwave) to have to (to have two, halve two too) focus through (threw, thru, throo) (has that frame on the wall always been crooked?) all this (“look at all those chickens!”) other bullshit
Lakes and graveyards are very similar in that if you detonate a large explosion inside either one a lot of dead bodies come to the surface.
Hi, um. How is being the necromancer’s apprentice going for you OP?
You want I should raise dead, I raise dead, no problem. You want banish dead, no problem, have plenty more nitro. I do this, ten minutes.
CHUNKY STEW IS NOT BANISHMENT.
Chunky stew, very bad necromancer. We banish, no problem, no chunks. I give you number of cousin Yvgeny. Will power wash house, very good prices. No other necromancer does this for you.
Considering which name swap is funnier, Jason Grayson or Tim Todd.
Believe it or not, Marvel did use one of those, in a “What the..?!” story about Marble Comics deciding to ape a certain event at their Distinguished Competition by killing Chaplain America’s kid sidekick, Bunky.
When Chap points out that he hasn’t GOT a sidekick (at least not since the original Bunky in WWII), they decide to recruit a new Bunky, make the public love him and THEN kill him off for maximum return.
So they hold auditions (count the cameos)
It goes about as well as you’d expect for poor Jason….
I also have a soft spot for the name Tim uses when going undercover in “Seduction of the Gun”
I’ll never forget the time I was sitting with this guy, nice kid, didn’t know him well, I think we must have had a bottle of wine or some questionable hashish or something, and in response to an awkward silence I just started talking and ended up going on a long meandering rant about how ugly American robins are. I’m talking a full monologue. I had an intro and conclusion. It was pointlessly vehement. I have never been so mean or loquacious about anything in my life.
Consider my horror when this perfectly nice guy wordlessly lifted his shirt to reveal a full-torso prismacolor tattoo of his spiritual soul animal, the American robin.
Their scientific name sounds like “Migrating Turd” but otherwise I find them charming if fairly derpy and mundane. I don’t know if I’d get a tattoo of one though. They’re like the potato of American birds.
I have no actual animosity towards them. They’re fine. I like them. They remind me if my college roommate and beloved friend. I don’t know why I said any of that—I was grasping at straws for something kind of provocative to say and failed so catastrophically that I was catapulted into a Seinfeld skit.
eerily similar to the time in college someone tried to make conversation by making fun of a silly book a former high school teacher of theirs had written only for me to just pull out a physical copy of the exact book because i’d realized he was talking about my dad
the foot seeks the mouth like leaves seek the sun
yesterday was the ten year anniversary of my insensitive American Robin comment and my tattooed friend messaged me to celebrate the “funniest thing that had ever happened to him” so sometimes critically failing a charisma check leads to a whole decade of joy for someone else
20 / 20
